Date: 2022-06-10 03:29 am (UTC)
frozenassets: credit; treatyoself (FATWS Green mid)
From: [personal profile] frozenassets
“I know, War’s not all gonna be fun and games,” Bucky sighs. “It’s just….” and he spreads his hands for a moment, a little helpless at first to describe what he’s feeling here and he might as well indicate well…everything here.

It’s there and gone, but Bucky catches the actual wince across Steve’s face. Like…like maybe he already knows where Bucky’s going with this, and maybe that other Steve didn’t read his own time right. Maybe this Steve, his Steve, already subjects where ethos is going…and was hoping to avoid the subject if their friendship was gonna survive another day.

Bucky’s own stomach clenches with uneasiness. And for a second, Bucky even thinks of pulling it back, settling on something safer. But if not now, when? According to the future Steve, Bucky’s already a dead man walking. And maybe Bucky should also take that other Steve’s words to heart. Why live knowing his days are numbered and not have the guts to see where this even goes? Steve’s still touching him, a hand resting ont eh nape of his neck and splayed along his knee, with Bucky’s other hand over his.

Bucky’s jaw tightens, look firm like he’s bracing himself for a leap. Only…

Bucky stares at Steve for a second, startled, ‘cause that wasn’t exactly where Bucky had been going. Of course he’d like a break, any guy would. But it’s war. The War. And Bucky didn't take the first exit out when he had one, and how he's gonna even think about it when Steve's out here fighting?

“I mean, sure, who doesn’t? I just don’t think the brass is gonna be keen on one of their best sniper’s kicking their boots up,” Bucky says, doubtfully. Maybe this was too subtle. With a sigh, Bucky pulls Steve’s hand from his neck, but only so he can clasp both of Steve’s hands in his and look him in the eye like he’s trying to get Steve to see a glimmer of where he’s going without making Bucky spill his entire heart. He’s never been good at that. “I just meant…. I don’t know, the last couple of days got me thinking. About how maybe a guy should appreciate the good moments, while he’s got it.”
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