He nods, voice stolen by the feeling of those hands against his chest and jaw. He melts into the kiss and goes diving in for another the moment Bucky is done talking.
"It's bizarre. I am jealous of myself," he says softly. The laugh that comes out of him is half honest and half miserable because he can't really decide if he's happy to have helped them or not. Honestly, he doesn't even know if what he said here will make the jump back to the 40's. He doesn't have any memories of Bucky and him making time on the front lines. Does that mean he's now changed time? Or does that mean that this all is somehow erased? Bucky forgetting it all the minute he goes back?
Steve doesn't even entertain the idea that he doesn't go back. Fate is not that kind to either of them and to hope for it to be different is selfish in a strange, almost perverse way. Steve in the past needs his Bucky. Just like Steve perpetually needs his Bucky, including now when the man is frozen in Wakanda, mind in shambles.
He closes his eyes for a moment and tries not to think about that. Tries not to think about the moment when he reaches for the man beneath him and finds nothing but air. For now he is here. For now, Steve can have this.
"When you get back," he finally says, "tell me to enjoy the moment. Even in the war... there is so much I am going to miss faster than I realize. Both of you. Just. Enjoy what you can."
He smiles a bit and kisses Bucky harder than before.
"But right now...you're mine to enjoy, pal. And I am gonna take my own advice for once."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-06-01 12:51 am (UTC)"It's bizarre. I am jealous of myself," he says softly. The laugh that comes out of him is half honest and half miserable because he can't really decide if he's happy to have helped them or not. Honestly, he doesn't even know if what he said here will make the jump back to the 40's. He doesn't have any memories of Bucky and him making time on the front lines. Does that mean he's now changed time? Or does that mean that this all is somehow erased? Bucky forgetting it all the minute he goes back?
Steve doesn't even entertain the idea that he doesn't go back. Fate is not that kind to either of them and to hope for it to be different is selfish in a strange, almost perverse way. Steve in the past needs his Bucky. Just like Steve perpetually needs his Bucky, including now when the man is frozen in Wakanda, mind in shambles.
He closes his eyes for a moment and tries not to think about that. Tries not to think about the moment when he reaches for the man beneath him and finds nothing but air. For now he is here. For now, Steve can have this.
"When you get back," he finally says, "tell me to enjoy the moment. Even in the war... there is so much I am going to miss faster than I realize. Both of you. Just. Enjoy what you can."
He smiles a bit and kisses Bucky harder than before.
"But right now...you're mine to enjoy, pal. And I am gonna take my own advice for once."