Steve has a full-body flinch at the casual comment about Bucky's arm. God, he has no idea. He has no idea what could be ahead of him and how loaded such a simple sentence can be. It's horrifying and perhaps a little funny in a cosmic sort of way. Certainly not enough to warrant the laughter that starts pouring out of Steve that's slightly hysterical with no sign of stopping.
He's just hit the end of his rope. The end of his patience. The end of his sanity, perhaps. And there's just no appropriate reaction to that sort of break in one's mind. Emotions all bubble up and it's a lottery wheel to decide which one gets the floor. Steve could have just as easily broken into sobs or punched a hole in the wall or thrown up in the sink.
Maybe it's a blessing he got laughing as the decided on behavior. Anything else would probably have terrified Bucky more than likely is right now.
It breaks off into giggles and hiccups as Steve finds not only mugs and some instant coffee but also a kettle that he can use to brew it all in. It's old-school but so is he. He takes his time, chuckling as he sets it up and leaves it going. The mugs get a rinse and then there's nothing else for it.
He turns around and looks at Bucky, miserable and still with a smile.
"I didn't know," he confesses. It sounds like a betrayal because Steve's mind has already jumped ahead to what that lack of knowledge caused. What he'd assumed because of it and what that did to Bucky.
'Give my left arm for an actual cup of Joe'.
The laughter dies and disgust wins on the next roll of the wheel. Steve feels like he's a second away from being sick.
"I maybe worried? I... I didn't know but you did things that were... I don't know. Amazing? Incredible. And maybe I had a thought now and again but I didn't know. I didn't find out until much, much later. I wish I hadknown.
"I wish I'd figured it out before everything went to shit."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-04-19 05:26 pm (UTC)He's just hit the end of his rope. The end of his patience. The end of his sanity, perhaps. And there's just no appropriate reaction to that sort of break in one's mind. Emotions all bubble up and it's a lottery wheel to decide which one gets the floor. Steve could have just as easily broken into sobs or punched a hole in the wall or thrown up in the sink.
Maybe it's a blessing he got laughing as the decided on behavior. Anything else would probably have terrified Bucky more than likely is right now.
It breaks off into giggles and hiccups as Steve finds not only mugs and some instant coffee but also a kettle that he can use to brew it all in. It's old-school but so is he. He takes his time, chuckling as he sets it up and leaves it going. The mugs get a rinse and then there's nothing else for it.
He turns around and looks at Bucky, miserable and still with a smile.
"I didn't know," he confesses. It sounds like a betrayal because Steve's mind has already jumped ahead to what that lack of knowledge caused. What he'd assumed because of it and what that did to Bucky.
'Give my left arm for an actual cup of Joe'.
The laughter dies and disgust wins on the next roll of the wheel. Steve feels like he's a second away from being sick.
"I maybe worried? I... I didn't know but you did things that were... I don't know. Amazing? Incredible. And maybe I had a thought now and again but I didn't know. I didn't find out until much, much later. I wish I hadknown.
"I wish I'd figured it out before everything went to shit."