Steve's whole body locks up at the question. For a moment he's unnaturally still like he can see himself caught in crosshairs but not yet able to see his way out.
The thing is that the both of them are operating without a script and without rules. Steve has no idea how long Bucky is here for nor what impact the visit is going to have. The cruelest option is the one Steve's shattered heart assumes the most likely: that he is being given a breath of air before once more being submerged. Much like waterboarding, this is the break needed so he stays alive and engaged. Part of the punishment more than a relief from it. Another way to test the soundness of his foundation by all but dropping a bomb onto it and salting the ground behind.
But that is not the only option.
Hope, cruel and insidious and part of his DNA much the way his asthma used to be, still whispers into his ear. It makes him wonder if this is not perhaps a gift. A chance at something better than the life he saw spinning out from one disaster to the next, endlessly and joylessly until the end. What if Bucky was here in this time and that was meant to be? What if he was meant to stay?
Steve has no way to know which of these is the truth or if the reality falls somewhere in between. But either way, there are practical concerns that are going to come up sooner rather than later and it is going to take some work to either excise the truth Bucky needs to understand them without giving away the plot or a great deal more of a conversation than Steve has the energy for now. He still hasn't moved, belying the complicated nature of what should have been a simple question. It's a conscious effort to slouch a bit and look toward the ground.
To stop his hands from shaking from bone-deep exhaustion and an even deeper need to touch.
"I'm...uh. I'm taking a break, actually," he says evenly. It's not a lie but only because it is omitting most of the important information. Specifically what he is taking a break from. "It's been a rough few months for me and I was lookin' for some familiar ground. This was the first that came to mind."
They can't stay here for too much longer, he also realizes as a distant clock tower strikes the early hour. Bucky hasn't turned into a pumpkin either so it's unlikely this is something connected to a specific timeframe. Perhaps. But he'll need to think about that later.
"We probably should... A hotel or something." He has a quinjet parked and hidden away which is probably safer. Going back to it though means that he needs to take it someplace else. He can't make that kind of decision right now. "I kinda broke in here, 's the thing. Last thing either of us needs is cops asking questions." Bucky because his answers would sound insane and Steve because he's wanted by 115 nations and a few of them aren't picky about what condition he's delivered in.
"Do ya think you can... You think you can walk out with me?"
no subject
Date: 2022-04-16 06:13 pm (UTC)The thing is that the both of them are operating without a script and without rules. Steve has no idea how long Bucky is here for nor what impact the visit is going to have. The cruelest option is the one Steve's shattered heart assumes the most likely: that he is being given a breath of air before once more being submerged. Much like waterboarding, this is the break needed so he stays alive and engaged. Part of the punishment more than a relief from it. Another way to test the soundness of his foundation by all but dropping a bomb onto it and salting the ground behind.
But that is not the only option.
Hope, cruel and insidious and part of his DNA much the way his asthma used to be, still whispers into his ear. It makes him wonder if this is not perhaps a gift. A chance at something better than the life he saw spinning out from one disaster to the next, endlessly and joylessly until the end. What if Bucky was here in this time and that was meant to be? What if he was meant to stay?
Steve has no way to know which of these is the truth or if the reality falls somewhere in between. But either way, there are practical concerns that are going to come up sooner rather than later and it is going to take some work to either excise the truth Bucky needs to understand them without giving away the plot or a great deal more of a conversation than Steve has the energy for now. He still hasn't moved, belying the complicated nature of what should have been a simple question. It's a conscious effort to slouch a bit and look toward the ground.
To stop his hands from shaking from bone-deep exhaustion and an even deeper need to touch.
"I'm...uh. I'm taking a break, actually," he says evenly. It's not a lie but only because it is omitting most of the important information. Specifically what he is taking a break from. "It's been a rough few months for me and I was lookin' for some familiar ground. This was the first that came to mind."
They can't stay here for too much longer, he also realizes as a distant clock tower strikes the early hour. Bucky hasn't turned into a pumpkin either so it's unlikely this is something connected to a specific timeframe. Perhaps. But he'll need to think about that later.
"We probably should... A hotel or something." He has a quinjet parked and hidden away which is probably safer. Going back to it though means that he needs to take it someplace else. He can't make that kind of decision right now. "I kinda broke in here, 's the thing. Last thing either of us needs is cops asking questions." Bucky because his answers would sound insane and Steve because he's wanted by 115 nations and a few of them aren't picky about what condition he's delivered in.
"Do ya think you can... You think you can walk out with me?"